The Voice Inside Your Head
Based on the work of Helen Guinness
“Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t - you’re right.”
Did you know that 80% of what the voice in your head has to say is negative, or at least contains negative language?
For example, you may have been told at an early age: “You mustn’t do that.” Maybe that was a positive lesson, like “You mustn’t put that metal knife in the toaster.” But framing it in the negative language of “You must not” contributes to this imbalance between positive and negative input from your inner voice.
What does your voice sound like? What does it say to you? Does it inspire or motivate you? Or the opposite?
The reality is that we all have a voice in our heads, and there is no way of getting rid of it. What is possible is to live with it; to notice how it affects you, and become intentional about making it work for you.
So how do we do that?
One way is to create some purposeful distance between yourself and your inner voice. One example of this is putting the voice in the mouth of a large parrot, sitting on your shoulder. Using your imagination, you can receive the input of the voice from this parrot, or even have two separate ones - a bird for each shoulder, one with the negative feedback and the other the positive. (If parrots don’t work for you, try an angel and a demon, or whatever image helps you.) This allows you to separate yourself from identifying with the negative input you receive inside your head, and view it more objectively.
“Maybe I could have done that better” is a much more favourable response to criticism than becoming stuck in the shame or embarrassment of being criticised. Left to our own devices, it’s easy to get caught in a negative feedback loop - there’s a reason that solitary confinement is a form of punishment - and while creating an imaginary figure to speak in your inner voice may sound strange, it can be very powerful in allowing you to engage with what you’re hearing, take the value from it and move forward.
So, make friends with your parrot, and see if they have anything to say that helps bring you closer to your goals.
