Resolutions
“What are you clear about?”
“If you asked me for my New Year Resolution, it would be to find out who I am.”
New Year is a bad time to make resolutions.
If we think about what the word means, it’s about being resolute - another way of saying it is to be unwavering. The premise of a New Year’s resolution is that, having been in one state on 31st December, from January 1st we will suddenly become unwavering in another. ‘I will read a book per week unwaveringly’ ‘I will stick to a new diet unwaveringly’ ‘I will be a more confident person unwaveringly’. Simply because we’ve decided to change, we’re going to do so immediately, and we’re never going to fail.
When we take this view, it becomes clear that this approach will likely lead to failure. Think about the things that you are resolute about, the things that are crystal clear to you. How many of those things came immediately to you? How many of them did you adopt in a single moment?
By holding ourselves to the standard of ‘I will immediately become unwavering in this’, we give ourselves no room to fail. So when we inevitably do fail, there’s no coming back from it, and no way to move forward.
So do we just bin the whole concept altogether?
That is one option. Another is to reframe how we look at resolutions, and make them work for us.
What if, instead, New Year was a time for recognising resolutions that we’ve already made? In other words, what are you already resolute about? Looking back over the previous year, thinking about the things that are already clear to you - the skills you’ve started to develop, the goals you’ve started to pursue, the people, places and things that you value. What’s already clear to you? How would you like to develop that?
Now you can make some decisions that support your resolution. For example, if you’re reading this, it’s likely that you are thinking about getting your next job. If that’s something you’re already resolved about, you can start thinking about how you can strengthen that pursuit, and create good conditions to succeed. Rather than saying ‘I’m going to get a job’, you can think about ways to support that happening: getting clear about what jobs you’re interested in, talking to people who are in those jobs currently, rewriting your CV, reading our newsletters…suddenly there are plenty of options to move forward towards your goal. And over time, exploring these avenues will gradually strengthen your resolve, even when you have some slip-ups along the way.
So try asking yourself: what am I resolute about? Where do I already feel strong? And how can I develop that?
All the best with your exploration.
Interested in this topic? Listen to our podcast on Resolutions.
